Your guide to your body acceptance and self love journey
If you’re a regular visitor to my blog you’ll know I described my journey to body acceptance in great detail. What I did, where I went, the things I read or did. I really wanted to share this with all of you as it truly was one of the most life-transforming experiences I could have gone through. On reading it back though it occurred to me that it was a little lacking in some extra detail that might allow you to start down this path. It’s not too strong a word to say that I am evangelical in my desire for everyone to learn to love themselves as I have done. With that in mind here’s my beginners’ guide to body acceptance.
Please note before we begin this is a guide only. Not a magic blueprint that must be followed to the letter or it won’t work. Everyone’s journey must be unique because every person is unique. What works for me may work for you up to a point before you decide you’re ready to branch out on your own. That is fantastic! Whatever gets you there is the right path for you. Don’t ever be afraid to try new things, if you try something and it doesn’t work you can come back here and pick up where you left off. It’s all good man. (Breaking Bad fan, can you tell?)
Step 1
Read! In order to get past the lies society tells you about your body you need some facts on your side. A dose of reality if you will. These books will open your eyes, make you laugh, cry and scream all at the same time. You can read these in my order but I always recommend everyone starts with
Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe
It was the first book I read and it spoke to me in a way no other book has ever done. It is a must-read and I can not recommend it highly enough.
Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker
It’s informative, witty and groundbreaking. It encourages you to push your boundaries and also delves into strategies to improve your overall mental health. She does swear a lot which I think is hilarious but if you’re offended be warned.
Health At Every Size – Linda Bacon
This helps you with worries that staying fat will kill you young. The evidence doesn’t support that and the book gives you a lot of ammunition for both your inner insecurities and the food police.
Intuitive Eating – Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
If you’re like me your relationship with food and your body’s hunger cues has been completely trashed by decades of dieting. This is the bible on healing your relationship with food and learning to trust your body again.
The next two books are in my “to read” pile by the bed. I haven’t gotten as much done while trying to get this blog going but I will get back to it soon. If you read them first comment and let me know what you thought.
The Beauty Myth – Naomi Wolf
Fat! So? – Marilynn Wann
I’ve listed the reading as step 1 but you can move on to these steps in conjunction with the reading. Just continue working your way through the books while you do the other steps.
Step 2
It’s a sad fact in our society that thin, and ever more thin, is in. All we see all day long are already very slim women airbrushed to within an inch of their lives. Airbrushing can even be done on live video now – how scary is that!? We are surrounded by images we will never be able to emulate and then told we must devote our lives to the attempt. That it is all that matters. The first step on the path must therefore be learning to see the world as it is not how the media would have us believe it is. Where do we start? Instagram
Download Instagram and sign up for a free account if you don’t already have one. I say surely not but you never know! Open the app, click the search icon at the bottom and search for the following hashtags – #fatacceptance #fat #bodyacceptance. Once Instagram has found them click follow. Your feed will become full of all sizes of bodies in all their glory. Spend time every day looking at them until they become normal to you. Til you can see the beauty in every one of them. In addition to these hashtags, some of my favourite body acceptance warriors are @bodyposipanda @themilitantbaker @bopopeaches @curvynyome @thecurvyhandbook @chubbybrightalternative @mustangsallytwo @megbodymatters @voluptuousleah @colorsofdominique @fiercefieryandfabulous and liciarose71 so follow them too! Follow me too of course! @clairey_moo
Step 3
Once you’ve spent enough time on step 2 that you genuinely are starting to believe all bodies are beautiful it’s time to move on. Remember that step 2 does not have a time limit. One person may look at diverse body types and see their beauty in a couple of weeks. For someone else it may take months. It depends on how deeply the conditioning that only thin is beautiful has taken hold on your psyche. However long it takes is fine. This is a lifelong journey not a race. Once you truly believe it though then comes the hard part – applying it to yourself!
My first step came in Paul McKenna’s book I Can Make You Thin. I have now given up intentional weight loss but there is one exercise that really works. Stand in front of a full-length mirror. Ideally you should be naked but if you have to work up to it that’s ok. Now look into the mirror and say the first thing that comes to your mind. In my case it was “God look at that huge apron of fat on my belly – it’s disgusting!” I also hated my arms and how saggy my boobs are because they’re so huge. Once you’ve done that keep looking and say “I accept my xx” Just that. Just accept them. You don’t need to love them yet. Just accept that they are as they are. Do this every day and if you’re like me you’ll find you hate what you see in the mirror less each time you do it. You may never get to the point of LOVING these things (although I hope you do) but not hating yourself is a huge first step. Try it for a week however scary you find the idea – I promise it gets easier.
Step 4
Once you’ve mastered the mirror then move on to one of the harshest mistresses of all – the camera! Start taking pictures of yourself. LOTS of pictures. If at first you only pose in the was you find “safe” where you look at your best that’s fine. Try to move on in time though to trying different poses and even (gasp!) taking photos of the parts you’re least comfortable with. Even if you hate them please don’t just automatically delete the photos. Keep them for a few days and go back to them. They may not be as bad as your knee-jerk reaction told you they were. If after a few days you still hate them then delete them but you’ve given yourself time to absorb a different angle of your body. A different perspective. Realness.
My next step and yours too is to start putting your photos out there. I used Instagram and still do with the hashtags I listed above. At first you may only want to post your very nicest photos but later you may decide that you’re happy enough to share all parts of you because they’re all beautiful. Again this will take time. I still haven’t worked up to posing in a bathing suit. My journey is ongoing as is yours For now though I’ve posted the rolls of fat on my belly, my large thighs and the shrivelled stretch marks on my arms. If I feel scared I remind myself it’s good for me and also good for other people to see this is what people actually look like in real life. They have flaws!
Step 5
Chart your own course!
1. Find blogs that you love about fat and body acceptance, two of my favourites are The Fatphobia Slayer and Dances with Fat.
2. Start your own blog.
3. Challenge fatphobia where you find it in your life or online.
4. Seek out truly fat positive brands for clothing, activewear or lingerie and only spend your money there.
5. Write to brands you love that don’t do this and ask them why.
This part of the journey is yours now, do as much or as little as you feel comfortable. Just do me a favour and always act in a loving way towards yourself ok? Be as kind to yourself as are to others. Rock every single day and remember…you are beautiful and worthy and AWESOME just as you are!!!
