Who Am I? My New Slant On The 3 Card Past, Present, Future Spread
For better or worse, attending therapy means doing an awful lot of navel-gazing and trying to peel back layers in the search for truth. One of the biggest truths I have been groping for is probably the same one as many other people – who am I? The honest answer is that I don’t know. I know who I’d like to be but I have no idea how close I am to reaching that goal.
One of the issues I have is that I know I still have a lot of therapy and also shadow work to do. In case you’ve never heard the term shadow work, it was coined by the psychiatrist Carl Jung. According to the site Better Up:
Shadow work involves exploring and integrating the unconscious aspects of oneself, such as repressed emotions, fears, and desires, to achieve personal growth and wholeness. We all have traits that we’re proud of, and traits that we don’t feel so confident about. Some of these traits may trigger or embarrass us, so we hide them from public view. These parts make up your shadow self, and it longs to be heard.
Elizabeth Perry, AAC. Better Up site
I feel like I’ve been doing exactly that. All the trauma from my past, my frustration at being socially awkward and unable to form friendships, my anger, and everything else I didn’t want to deal with has been neatly boxed up and shoved to the back of my mind. I took a long time doing it, and like a hoarder I suspect I have forgot most of what’s in there. I am scared of unpacking it even though I know its vital.
My Spread
On of the most common tarot spreads is the 3 card past, present and future spread. It’s laid in a horizontal line, and the card on the left is Past, the middle is Present and the right hand card is Future. I decided for this week’s post I am going to modify the spread so hopefully it will help me answer the question Who Am I? Here’s what I came up with.
The Deck
Just as in my last post, I struggled to decide which deck to use. If I really want to know who I am I feel like I need to use a deck I have a strong connection with. I do have a few that I work really well with and after some deliberation I decided on the Cozy Witch Tarot. The other decks in the running were the Creatures Tarot, the Happy Tarot, the Adventure Tarot and the Cosmic Cycles tarot. I truly love them all but I felt the Cozy Witch will be most aligned with my questions.
I might draw a final oracle card to choose the reading and offer extra advice about how to get from the present to the future. I plan to use the Believe In Your Own Magic Oracle as it’s by the same creator as the Cozy Witch and they go together beautifully.
Who Am I Spread – My Cards
Who Is The Person I Was? – Nine Of Pentacles Reversed. Upright this card represents enjoying the spoils of your labours but reversed it’s not trusting success. I never believed I was good enough or that anything good would last. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had so many toxic thought patterns and didn’t believe I could achieve anything big. I had no confidence in my abilities and stayed in low level jobs rather than risk failing at higher levels.
Who Is The Person I Am Now? The Moon. Right no, I’m doing the work. As hard as I find it I am looking inside myself and trying to find out all the pain, trauma, and traits hidden in the shadows. The Moon is helping illuminate these traits so i can begin to heal and integrate them. I am going to therapy, watching mental health YouTube videos and ping tarot spreads. This blog helps true. I am aware of a decent number of my issues as I discussed last time. I still have to figure out how to fix it though.
Who Is The Person I Am Becoming? The World. I couldn’t get a better card here could I? The World represents success, completing a cycle and being ready to move on to a new one. I hope this means I will complete my therapy and a large part of my healing and be ready to step into the world as a healthy and more empowered person. The work will not be over, when it comes to mental health and self development the work never stops, but I hope I will have reached a milestone and been able to put a good chunk of my past behind me.
The Who Am I Oracle Draw
As I shuffled my oracle deck I asked how to get from who I am to who I am becoming. I am happy to say i got another positive card.
This card is very simple, I can create the life I choose if I a) do the work and b) believe I deserve it. Feeling unworthy and less than is a huge part of my issues and one I am working on. It’s nice to have this reminder that I can do and more than that, I deserve to have the life I want.
Who Am I? Who Are You?!
If you try this spread please let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear what insights the cards have for you and halos have company on this journey. Please take care and remember to give yourself a break xx
