Mental Health

Travel Anxiety: The Number 1 Way To Ruin Your Trip

Would you like to ruin something you spent a fortune on and looked forward to for years? Welcome to travel anxiety! Just before Christmas, I went on my dream holiday. When I say dream holiday, it’s a holiday I have wanted to take since I was about 14. Where you ask? New York City of course! It wasn’t just going to New York, though; it was going to New York at Christmas. 

Ever since I saw Home Alone 2, I have longed to go to New York at Christmas. I wanted to see all the places in the movie. I wanted to see Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, the decorations on 5th Avenue, and of course, the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Centre.

My Dream Holiday

We had the money together to go to New York over three years ago. But, unfortunately, the first year, I didn’t have enough holidays at work. Nonetheless, I was sure I’d be able to take my holiday next year but didn’t realise that Covid was hiding around the corner, like some pantomime villain. 

So, three years and a worldwide pandemic later, I booked my trip! I told everyone that I didn’t care if New York was a smoking crater in the ground. I was going this year! I did endless research before booking the flight and hotel and planning an itinerary of places Mike and I most wanted to see.

I made an exhaustive list of what to pack and spent the weeks before getting as prepared as I could. Naturally, travel anxiety stuck its big, ugly snout in before we even left and showed me in great detail all the things that might go wrong before we left. I kept it under control and felt pretty good the day before We left.

Travelling

I’m happy to say the journey itself couldn’t have gone smoother. The taxi arrived on schedule at 4 am to take us to the airport. The first flight was only delayed by a few minutes and we had a relatively short wait at Heathrow before boarding the plane to JFK. The American Airlines staff were absolutely wonderful, and I would happily fly with them again. We were well taken care of for 7 1/2 hours, and we arrived safe and sound in New York.

By now, though, I was getting tired. I’d been up since 4 am, and my anxiety always gets worse when I’m tired. We couldn’t find our bags so after waiting 30 minutes at the carousel we had to go to the baggage help desk to find them. It then took us another hour to get to Manhattan. We left the train at Penn Station, which since the legalisation of cannabis, absolutely reeks of weed. The area our hotel was in was also a bit rundown. It didn’t seem like a great start, particularly as I was exhausted.

The Anxiety Begins

We finally reached our hotel. My plan was to stay awake and go to sleep at bedtime in New York to get my body clock on New York Time. Mike took a nap, though, and I was so tired I ended up joining him. I assumed that after some sleep, I’d be revived and bursting with excitement to explore my dream city…nope! I still felt tired, my anxiety was a 9, and I felt like I was going to cry. I tried to put on a brave face for Mike, but I don’t know if he bought it.

I just wanted to hide in my room, but I gave myself a stern talking-to and dutifully researched places to eat. We chose a diner and set off to walk through the neighbourhood. It was quite rundown, so I didn’t feel super safe, but I tried to embrace the adventure. The diner was nice, and the food was good, but I wasn’t hungry. Mike happily finished his meal while I ate half. We talked, planned the next few days, and I relaxed a little.

Oh, The Humanity!

Those of you lucky enough not to have experienced anxiety problems may not know that it tends to affect the stomach. Mine was a little sore over dinner, but I told myself it would pass. It did not. we stopped on the way back to our hotel to pick up a couple of toiletries we’d forgotten. That’s when we experienced New York prices. We got some body wash, male and female deodorant, milk, tootsie rolls and cookies. It came t almost $50!

We set off for the hotel, which was maybe a 15-minute walk away. Very quickly, I realised I was not going to make it. I needed to poo, like NOW! Not ideal in a strange city that does not do public bathrooms. In the end, I had to go into another diner, and I must have looked so panicked they let me use theirs, despite the clear sign it was for customers only. I literally just made it. That was the next surprise. There appeared to be a fair amount of blood in it.

My mum suffered from ulcerative colitis all through my childhood. I know during a flare-up it can be pretty debilitating, and my old friend anxiety was telling me I was going to ruin our holiday. There was nothing I could do at that moment, so I pulled myself together and left. I returned to my hotel and did what all of us Brits do in a crisis; I had a cup of tea. I followed it up with a shower and cuddled up to Mike. Amazingly I was able to fall asleep and get some rest.

More Anxiety

I felt much better when I woke up the next day and was ready to enjoy my trip. Top tip 1, sleep is essential to prevent anxiety getting ts claws into you. Sleep is key to maintain a positive outlook.So we got dressed and headed out for breakfast before heading to the World Trade Center museum. It was a beautiful and heart-wrenching experience. It is a huge museum, so as well as taking an emotional toll, I was tired after walking around for hours.

We had tickets to see The Book of Mormon that night on Broadway. I planned for us to go out to eat first, but we were late back from the WTC. We got to Broadway about an hour before the show ad Mike was excited to walk around Times Square, get food from a street vendor and relax. My travel anxiety was making my heart pound, killing any appetite or any interest in where I was. Again, I held it together, but I felt I was ruining everything for both of us.

I was in full-on fight-or-flight mode. At that moment, if I was offered one wish, it wouldn’t have been to become a billionaire, world peace, to have superpowers or even immortality. All I wanted in the world at that moment was to be at home. To be in my own home, my own bed, where I was in control and everything felt safe. How sad is that? I’m on a holiday many people would kill for, and I wanted to go home?

I felt like a complete and dismal failure. How fucked up do you have to be to want to leave a holiday you’ve looked forward to for years? How badly must my brain have been malfunctioning to want to be anywhere except with my wonderful husband having a fantastic adventure? The tears were so close for most of those first two days. But, come hell or high water, I was determined not to give in! I had seen my parents allow depression and anxiety to suck all of the joy out of their lives, and I was damned if I’d let it happen to me!

Saved By Humour

Luckily, once we got to the theatre, the Book of Mormon was absolutely hilarious! I loved every second and felt a million times better. After the show ended, I suggested we go somewhere for a slice of genuine New York pizza. I had bacon and onion, and it was incredibly yummy. The World Trade Center, see a show on Broadway and try New York pizza; three things ticked off my to-do list in one day. I felt good.

This leads me to top tip 2 for beating travel anxiety, or anxiety in general; find something that makes you laugh. Read on for the rest of my tip tips but first, let’s finish the story. I’d love to say that my travel anxiety was banished by laughter for the rest of the trip. Unfortunately, it wasn’t, and it did come back. Happily, it wasn’t as bad as those first few days and didn’t stay for long. In the end, I did have a wonderful time in New York.

Travel Anxiety Symptoms

Now you’ve heard how I experienced travel anxiety, let’s look at all the symptoms. Yours may not present in the same way as mine, so it’s important you can recognise the little bugger and send him packing.

• Trouble sleeping in the days before you travel
• Uncontrollable worry about the trip
• Excessive need to plan and re-check itinerary and that you have passports, tickets, etc.
• Feeling edgy, anxious or restless while at the train station or airport
• Irritability or sudden bouts of anger
• Feeling out of control while on holiday
• Intense feelings of anxiety while travelling
• Fight or flight response 
• Panic attacks 
• Feeling self-conscious or that people are judging you

How To Combat Travel Anxiety

These are the ways I dealt with my travel anxiety on holiday. I hope they help you too.

1. Make sure you get lots of rest. My anxiety was almost uncontrollable when I was tired.
2. Try to put one thing in your itinerary each day that will make you laugh. If you aren’t sure what you can do, download funny YouTube videos to your phone before you leave.
3. Plan your trip thoroughly. You don’t need to follow it if you want to do something else, but having a plan for getting to the airport, to the hotel and what to do each day gives a feeling of control that settled me down. It could help you too.
4. If you’re feeling anxious, write down three things you’re looking forward to doing during your trip. Focus on the fun you’ll have, how interesting it’ll be, and how you’ll feel.
5. If you have to travel regularly for work, for example, and it’s having a severe impact on your life, you could consider therapy.
6. If you think you may experience a panic attack and will not be able to control it, your doctor can prescribe a short dose of beta-blockers.
7. Have plans already in place for anything that might go wrong; illness, being robbed, losing travel documents etc.

Bye For Now

I hope you’ve enjoyed my first post after my break. I hope you had a wonderful and Christmas and that the year to come is peaceful, happy and brings you all you desire.