Mental Health

Self Care – Why Is It So Hard To Do Things That Are Good For Us?

Rather than a self-help article, today’s piece takes a form of a question. Why is it so difficult to do things that are good for you? No, I’m not talking about losing weight or exercising, although they are interesting examples. Instead, I’m talking about basic self care; relatively simple things that can improve our health that we still struggle to do. The examples I’m using here are brushing my teeth thoroughly, including flossing, and using a CPAP machine for my sleep apnoea.

I think you’ll agree that those things are beneficial. Okay, I’m not the first person to have difficulties adjusting to a CPAP machine. However, brushing and flossing my teeth should take no more than 15 minutes, even when done exceptionally thoroughly. So why, for the love of all that’s holy, do I find it so difficult? Self care is not supposed to be so hard.

Possibility 1: Tiredness

Tiredness is a definite possibility as I suffer from sleep apnoea, chronic fatigue syndrome, and depression. As I’ve explained in other articles about depression, when it’s particularly bad, I feel that even the smallest task requires a disproportionately massive amount of effort. Even everyday things like climbing the stairs, making my bed or having a shower. Self care takes a back seat to work, making something to eat and looking after my cats.

On those days, I consider it a win if I even manage to brush my teeth. The problem is that these days are not every day, so this is not a problem or certainly not the whole problem.

woman in gray tank top lying on bed which is self care so hard — Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Possibility 2: Negative Feelings Towards Myself

A combination of a difficult upbringing, bullying and the toxic beauty standards set by the media has led to me suffering from severe self-worth issues. Sometimes I believe I felt true hatred for myself, for how I looked for my weakness, for my inability to be happy and get control of my weight.

I have done so much work over the last 5 to 10 years to unlearn everything that made me feel bad about myself. I feel like I have been successful. However, I wonder if there’s something more deep-seated hidden away in a place that I can’t get to. I further wonder if these feelings cause me to sabotage myself. If not, why is it so difficult to do things that are good for me? Do I feel like I don’t deserve self care?

Brushing my teeth is very important. Gum disease can cause many health issues, and I’ve already lost one tooth. Possibly due to very narrow nasal passages. I have always been a mouth breather. This dries out my mouth, hindering saliva production, meaning the pockets of bacteria buildup more quickly in my mouth than they would for others. That’s why it’s vital to brush and floss my teeth thoroughly. I still struggle, and it’s completely illogical. Feeling my body doesn’t deserve to be looked after makes some sense of it.

Possibility 3: I’m Overstimulated

We’re lucky that in the current age, we have more possibilities than ever by looking for entertainment. The flip side of that is we’ve become very easily bored. How many of us can honestly say we do one thing at a time? For example, when relaxing after a hard day at work, we no longer watch the latest TV drama. Instead, we are streaming the latest Netflix hit while playing candy crush on our iPads and periodically checking in on social media.

It’s no wonder that we stay up much later than we intend to and consequently are much more tired when we go to bed. It’s also unsurprising that doing just one thing, especially if it’s monotonous, lacks appeal, and so we struggle to do it. I do get bored very easily, and I always have. The extra activity just makes it worse.

What I Plan To Do

Even if I can pinpoint the cause of my reluctance, I still need to find a way to do the things I need to. I have no idea if it will work, but this is the plan.

I will prioritise one thing only. I’m starting with my teeth.
I will consider it non-negotiable. If it’s a massive struggle, I will change the time I do it to ensure it gets done.
I will give myself ONE pass in each two-week period.
On the days I struggle, I will spend a few minutes thinking about why I don’t want to do it
Research! It’s how I handle any problem. I’ll do research into resistance to change and habit forming. I need to make self care a priority and more info should help.