Prioritising Self Care – The No 1 Most Important Type Of Care
Hi Musers, it’s the end of ten days off work, and I won’t lie to you it was not at all what I planned. I was going to get more sleep, decompress, do lots more tarot and self-development work and look after myself more. In short, I planned on prioritising self care . That was the plan but what happened was that I had trouble sleeping, I did not eat healthily at all, if anything I got more stressed due to an unexpected drop in money coming in, and lastly Mike had two sessions booked to see if he has ADD, which he does.
I Care For Others, Not Myself
All of the above are more than good enough reasons why prioritising self care fell so spectacularly by the wayside over my time off work. However, another important element is that I am the carer. It’s who I am, what I do. Even though I have admitted to my therapist that it’s illogical and unbalanced I find it so hard to let others take care of me for long. The G word rears its ugly head – guilt!
Thinking rationally, I know that I need care, I need it from others and from myself. However, I always downplay my own needs in favour of looking after others. I am still trying to work through why that is. Do I feel I don’t deserve care? Are others more important than me? Or is it simply that I believe caring for others is my job so I have to do it. At this point I have no answers. Hopefully with more work I’ll be able to understand.
Prioritising Self Care – Season of Care
I started out the year with the best of intentions. I was going to work through the Tarot Spreads Yearbook from beginning to end, one spread per week. Unfortunately, you know what they say about the best laid plans! I realised some weeks ago that I was burned out and that working through the Season of Growth wasn’t a good idea. I barely had the energy to exist, much less keep growing.
I moved to the Season of Change as I knew changes were necessary in my life. It made sense in theory, my life was all out of whack and things definitely needed to change. The problem is, if I don’t have the energy to grow then it will also be hard for me to change.
So, after some thought I decided I had to start prioritising self care, literally make it number 1 on my to-do list. As it’s blog day I decided to kill two birds with one stone and do a tarot spread about self care that I can share with you. I flipped to the Season of Care in the book and started with the very first spread, Intentions.
The Spread
As my energy reserves are still low, I was happy it was a nice, simple three card spread. The cards are laid out left to right in a straight line so nice and easy to read. Here’s what the cards are going to tell me.
- How can I care for myself this season?
- How can I care for others this season?
- What is the biggest lesson I need to learn about care?
I think you’ll agree these questions are simple, but very powerful. I have needed to really think about the answers for a long time now.
The Deck
I planned on my week off being happy, relaxing a restorative. Sadly, the best laid plans you know? It was actually more stressful than it’s been in a while and I actually cried twice. I never cry. The one bright spark to cheer me up after crying fit number 2 on Friday was the arrival of the Kashima Tarot. It is a Kickstarter that my sister and I backed. It has the distinction of being Jayne’s first ever kickstarter.
We both love animal decks but there are a ton of those. The thing that tipped it over the edge was the Five of Pentacles which depicts opossums 😍 Jayne and I love opossums! (closely followed by otters for me). Buying yourself a pretty deck constitutes prioritising self care, right?
I am delighted to share a few of the cards from my very first spread with the deck with you today. Here they are 😃
My Interpretations
- How can I care for myself this season? Five of Coins. Ok, this has appeared a bit lately. Money is an issue right now so it makes sense. However, I think that I am worried more than I need to be about the situation. I may be taking quite an emotional hit. Also, the key in the Five of Pentacles is that there is help available if I ask for it. So, I might need to be more cautious with money but falling into a depressed, scarcity-based mindset will not help. I also need to be honest with myself about when things might be getting serious and if necessary reach out for help to get me through, eg a sort term loan from family, a mortgage repayment holiday etc.
- How can I care for others this season? One of Swords. I need to keep an open mind. The world is changing at a massive rate and every day there is a new app, piece of technology or service that makes our lives easier. There’s no point making myself do x, y or z to help someone when there is another, easier way. I also think that people who know each other well fall into a kind of rut so I need to question actions and behaviours as they may into be serving me, or those I care for anymore.
- What is the biggest lesson I need to learn about care? Ten of Wands. Simply put, I cannot do everything myself. It is not a personal failure if I delay, or even delegate some of the tasks I have taken on. I can sometimes fall into a bit of a martyr complex and struggle on instead of asking for help. This leads to exhaustion and feeling of resentment for me and can cause arguments. I need to ask myself three questions before taking on a task:
- Does it need to be done now? Will the world end if the bathroom isn’t cleaned for a couple more days?
- Does it need to be done at all? I gave up dusting because it just comes back.
- Does it need to be done by me or should I ask someone else to do it?
How Can You Care For Yourself
It’s embarrassing and a little sad that I tend to put my own wellbeing behind everyone else’s. This spread and my life of late have strongly suggested that that needs to change. Are you guilty of always putting yourself last? Have you ever managed to change this pattern? Please feel free to pop your thoughts and experiences in the comments and promise me you’ll start prioritising self care too 😃 Bye for now xx
