Is Good Advice The Number 1 Thing We Need?
One of the most frustrating things I’ve found about therapy is that it’s not like a chat with a friend who happens to have a psychology qualification. Although I do want my friends to listen to me I’m also looking for good advice and that’s something my therapist simply does not give. She asks questions and guides the discussion sometimes, but at no point does she tell me what to do.
Sometimes I really hate this. I have been trying to release my trauma and fix my screwed up brain for years and not succeeded. If I were capable of doing it alone I already would have so why can’t she tell me?? I’m sure many of you will be saying, “it won’t work if you’re told what to do, you have to figure it out yourself.” Well, in the words of the fabulous Sigourney Weaver in one of my favourite movies, Galaxy Quest:
I have struggled for decades! Why can’t it just be easy!?! Trying to think rationally there are two good reasons. Firstly, I need to figure it out because if I don’t then the therapist won’t be helping me with the right thing. My trauma, and therefore my problems started in early childhood. It’s like my brain is a junk room and decades of items have been thrown in there. I can’t just take a glance and know what the issue is. I need to dig down one layer at a time.
Secondly, my therapist can offer me all the good advice in the world but if I haven’t reached a place when I’m read to accept and process it then it won’t work. I won’t be strong enough to make use of it. I see it like weight training. If my trainer knows I will be able to bench press 30kg in a few weeks but I can only do 20kg now, they’d be irresponsible giving me 30kg to lift with. Even if I give it a good go and can do a couple of reps, I’ll likely hurt myself and set my progress back. I need to be strong enough.
Good Advice From Another Source
So I’ve made my peace, more or less, with the fact that my therapist can’t give me advice. That doesn’t mean I can’t get good advice from another source. Yep, you guessed it, enter the tarot deck! My next spread in the spread book from The Tarot Diagnosis is about advice, perfect eh? What’s even more exciting is that the spread will also tell me where I need to exercise caution.
It’s an intriguing spread. I needed to think long and hard because in my experience if you don’t know what you’re asking going in, nothing will be that clear coming out. What do I want advice about? Here are some options:
- What advice do I need regarding therapy?
- What is your advice regarding my mental health?
- What do I need to focus on in my life right now?
- What advice do I need hear at the moment?
I decided on the third option, what do I need to focus on in my life right now? The second card is simpler, once I’ve asked question one I just need to ask “where do I need to show caution?”
My Draw
The question may be tricky but my choice of deck was not. Of all my decks I see the Cozy Witch Tarot as my good advice deck. It’s warm and friendly and, well, cozy! I like it best with it’s sister oracle deck Believe In Your Own Magic, but for this spread I’m only using the tarot. Here are my cards.
First impression, both cards from the major arcana so big themes at play here.
Advice – The Lovers. Rather than an inherently romantic card, I read this as having a big choice go make. My life has not been working for some time, and I feel bored and uninspired. I feel this card is telling me I can safe in my rut or I can decide what I want and go after it. It’s scary as hell and I am massively risk averse but I know I need to make changes. I need to release my trauma and try to become the person I am meant to be.
Honestly, I don’t know who that is right now or what my life would look like but I know I need to start.
Caution – Justice. If I had to give the Justice card one keyword it would be consequences. Every action results in a consequence and we don’t always know what they will be in advance. I don’t think this card is cautioning me against action, it’s just telling me to be very honest with others and particularly with myself. I need to be clear on my goals and underlying motivation.
Do You Have Good Advice?
If you have anything you’d like to add, please feel free to pop it in my comments. Please look after yourself and your mental health til next time xx
