Hi Musers, continuing the theme of fighting diet culture here are my 10 commandments. It’s not easy. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say “I’m fat and I’m happy to be as I am”. I had decades of conditioning to overcome. Everywhere I looked I was present with images of thinness. Constant diet advertising. Being told I wasn’t good enough til I was thin. I also had comments and suggestions from friends, family and even strangers about my body. Some were trying to be helpful. Some weren’t. I had to develop a thick skin.

Change The Message

Luckily I was able to change the record a little with the help of books from Jes Baker, Megan Jayne Crabbe and Lindo Bacon. I also followed some other wonderful fat influencers on social media. Over time, and with a lot of stumbles, I got to a place of contentment with my body. I’m not saying I never have a wobble but they’re far less common now. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my journey and wondered the other day if I could go back in time, speak to my younger self, what would I tell her?

My 10 Commandments

1. You are beautiful. You have value. You’re not a failure because you’re fat. You don’t need to lose weight, not a single pound. You’re perfect as you are.
2. Do not go on a diet. It will literally never work long term and you’ll end up fatter than when you started. How do you think diet companies make their millions?
3. Do not wear black. It is not a good choice because it’s “slimming”. You deserve to be seen. You look great in colours, don’t be afraid of what others think of how you look. What they think doesn’t matter. Only your opinion is important. While we’re at it don’t believe you always need to wear long tops to cover your belly either!
4. What you weigh is no one else’s business. Not your mum, your best friend, your partner or even a doctor or nurse. Does that last one surprise you? There are very few reasons they need to know what you weigh for a medical reason. Feel free to say no if they ask to weigh you unless they can justify it.
5. People will still love you and find you sexy. There’s no “in spite of the fat” tacked on the end. What’s much more important though is that you learn to love and value yourself. You are so much more than a number on a scale.
6. Do not eat crappy diet food because you feel you “should” or that people will judge you if you don’t. You love food, let yourself enjoy it. Make sure as many morsels as possible are mini moments of bliss. Anyone who objects can go to hell!
7. Stop killing yourself at the gym because you ate too much. Stop doing any exercise you hate. Look for fun activities you enjoy doing. Remind yourself how much fun dancing is even if you’re not good at it. It’s always good to learn to laugh at yourself.
8. Super thin is not the norm. The average uk woman is size 16. It’s only beauty and diet business who’ll tell you otherwise. There are nice clothes for you out there, be confident enough to wear them. You will look great!
9. Don’t hide away. Your shame over being fat could stop you progressing at work, maintain friendships and having fun experiences. You can achieve anything you want to. Please just believe in yourself.
10. There are so many positive role models out there….fat ones! Living their lives, being happy and looking so gorgeous. Seek them out and learn from them. It will change your life.

I wish someone had said this.

It would have saved me so much pain and struggle if they had. What I hope is that it may at least help others. I don’t want anyone to feel the way that I did. So please, if you’re struggling with being fat and feeling bad about it, take these lessons to heart. You don’t need to be at war with yourself. I hope you find your path to happiness and one day can join me in saying I’m fat and I’m happy.

Love CMoo