Exploring What I Need From 2 Balanced Perspectives
Welcome to Wednesday and my new post exploring what I need. After I decided to be brave and explore the modified Celtic cross spread and Romany spread for my last two posts, I am now heading back to working through the Tarot Diagnosis spread book. I am finding it so useful during my therapy to do more work on my own to explore what’s going on in the confusing mess that is my head. Sometimes I make a realisation or breakthrough that I can bring to my next session and pick apart with the aid of my therapist.
I am very interested in today’s spread because it deals with what I need. In my experience every person (including me) thinks they know what they need but what they think they need and what they actually need are two completely different things. One of my favourite inner child spread from Lisa Papez deals with this exact split. She suggests a two card spread with the questions “what my inner child thinks it needs” and “what my inner child really needs”
This sentiment is echoed by Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, “The trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.” Please let me state that I now absolutely loathe JK Rowling and believe she is a horrible, hateful human being. I am sorry she had a difficult life and was subjected to domestic violence, I truly am. However, this is not an excuse for her to use her pain as a stick to beat others with. This is not related to my post but let me state I stand with and support the transgender community and completely reject the hate spewed by Rowling.
Back To What I Need
This is the spread I will be using today:
So, before I draw any cards, I am going to create a list for what i think are my internal and external needs:
Internal
- Releasing my trauma
- Self love
- Free from depression
- To love others
- Feeling part of something bigger
- Spirituality
External
- To be loved
- To be safe
- To have a place to live
- To be treated fairly (equality)
- Food
I think that’s a fair list that covers our basic needs as human beings. I am going to be so interested to see what my cards reveal to me and whether what I need relates to the list above. When I do a reading, I listen to my intuition first and then integrate this with the traditional meanings of the cards to come up with the whole picture.
My Draw
My Cozy Witch Tarot deck gives me all the feels so thats what I’m going to use today. I like to use it with the sister oracle deck Believe In Your Own Magic but in this case to keep it simple I’ll stick to just two tarot cards.
Internal Need – Seven of Cups. I need to make sure the choices I am making align with who i am becoming. I have spent so many years numbing my pain by trying new things, eating, buying something shiny, eating, starting new health kicks…and eating! Are you sensing a theme? I need to assess my options when a choice appears and decide if what I think I need or want is what I truly need long term. What will bring me to a life of contentment and fulfilment?
External Need – King of Pentacles. This is interesting as I identify myself as 65% Queen of Pentacles and 35% Queen of Cups. What I need externally is a partner who shares my values (I’m pretty close with Mike) and enough resources to build a life that makes me happy. Growing up with a lot of money insecurity I always want more money! I want so much I’ll never have to worry about money ever again!
This is clearly not a healthy mindset and the fact is there is probably no figure that I could reasonably make with my current skills that would make me feel secure. What I need to do is work on discovering what actually makes me happy long term rather than settling for one temporary fix after another.
Wild Card! A Clarifier! – Ok I lied. I decided to pull a card from the Believe In Your Own Magic Oracle too. I asked my deck to clarify the energy I need right now.
This card is all about recognising my achievements up to this point. Ok, I’m not rich or wildly successful. I’ve never won a Nobel Prize. I’m not famous. I’m not a campaigner to save the world. The fact is, I don’t have to be. What I need to do is remember that I passed my GCSEs and A Levels in spite of my school life varying from being completely ignored to being bullied as well as having an extremely stressful home life. I got a 2:1 degree with honours. In spite of many spells of depression I’ve always been able to hold down a steady job. I’m married. I have rescued 5 cats. In other words, I have done plenty.
I need to remember I am a good person and I deserve to have good things happen to me. I should not always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. What I need is to celebrate who I am from time to time because I am far more likely to have an inner critic talking constantly in my head rather than an inner cheerleader. Thoughts shape our reality and if we want to change, that’s where we need to start.
What Do YOU Need?
I hope you enjoyed this post and please feel free to take away any message that resonates with you. If you have your own interpretation or have tried this spread yourself please let me know in the comments. Take care xx
