Hi Musers, welcome back to part three of my series on mental health over Christmas. In the first part, we talked about the stresses of mental health issues caused by the big day and the Christmas period in general. In part two we discussed what you can do if you don’t have anybody to spend Christmas with and you’re lonely or you’re worried about someone else. Today we’re going to talk about being a person with mental health problems such as depression over Christmas. 

It’s completely understandable and because you have negative thoughts anyway so you’re going to be thinking:

 “God I’m depressed at Christmas again; why can’t I just be happy?” “I’m going to bring everybody else down. Maybe I should spend the day alone and not ruin everybody else’s Christmas.”

“I’m always the screwup why can’t I just sort myself out?!”

Believe me, these are all things that have gone through my own head. As any with depression and anxiety will know it’s not like you just switch it off at will. It’s not a choice. It’s not as if knowing that it’s Christmas time and it’s a nice time and you should be happy is going to make a difference. Christmas is absolutely my favourite time of year but that does not mean I don’t feel like shit sometimes. I’ve gotten horrendously depressed and hated having to go and spend time with family members I actually enjoy being with! I just feel rubbish for no good reason; it’s shit but that’s how it is.

So how do you deal with it? Well in my opinion the first thing to do is to give yourself a fucking break! You did not ask for this, you can’t control, and it’s not like you doing it to be spiteful or cruel and to ruin everybody’s good time. Your illness doesn’t understand time and think “I’d better turn off the depression over Christmas”. You can’t help it and the people you love should understand that and do their best to love and support you. If you feel they shouldn’t have to I want you to watch this brilliant YouTube video. It shows people talking to those with physical problems the way they do to those with mental health problems. Don’t worry, it’s meant to be humorous.

 In terms of what you can do to help yourself, you can definitely build in breaks for yourself through the day if you find that helps. I am naturally a very warm and friendly person so on the rare occasions I confide in people they’re shocked how exhausting I find socialising. Unless it’s my husband or my sister I can only manage for just so long and then I need a break. Here are a few breaks I employ myself.

• For short breaks a quick trip to the loo or my room if I’m at home. I take my phone and just read for a bit.
• If there’s a long time when nothing’s happening I might take a nap.
• After a big Christmas lunch going for a walk fulfils two purposes. I walk it off and feel better physically and I get a break. There’s always a bit of Christmas day and the time surrounding it where people are just lying around eating chocolate and doing nothing so there’s no reason why they would miss you if you disappear off for half an hour or an hour
• As I’m English, I believe there is nothing in the world that cannot be fixed by tea. I feel comforted by drinking it and I get a little break when I head out to the kitchen to make it.
• Finally, if I know I have a lot of visiting to do I leave a couple of days free with nothing to do so I can recharge my mental and emotional batteries. The 24th and the 27th of December are two days I usually choose.

That covers my suggestions for the day itself but you need to have strategies for other days to boost your mental health and try and improve your depression over Christmas as much as possible. I wrote a blog a while back going through my strategies to feel better when I’m really low. You can take a look here and see if any will work for you. I can’t and won’t give you a schedule because everyone’s mind is different and so is their Christmas. These are my final tips to help yourself with depression over Christmas.

1.  Plan! Figure out what you’ll be doing when and build in rest periods and rest days.
2. Organise a few things to do that always make you feel better. It could be your favourite hot drink, a Christmas movie, a hug from a loved one or time alone with a good book.
3. If you have things you do to improve your mental health then do them in the lead up to Christmas. Start out feeling as good as you can.
4. If you’re struggling tell your family! Let them know what you need and how they can help.
5. MOST IMPORTANT. Remember to show yourself the love and kindness that you would if someone you cared about was going through this.

That’s all for today Musers. I hope this helps you if you’re struggling. You’re not alone and there is always someone there to listen. If you’d like that to be me feel free to go to the Contact Me page and get in touch.