My Mental Health Check In – A Great New 15 Card Spread
How do you know if therapy is working and you’re not just wasting your time? How do you do your own mental health check in?
Don’t get me wrong, therapy is great and I am so grateful the NHS is providing psychotherapy to me for free. However I struggle with psychotherapy because it is so meandering. I am very goal orientated and find the lack of structure difficult. How do I know if I’m getting anywhere? Should I feel better? DO I feel better? How much better? Is it normal to feel worse for a while?? I just don’t know. My therapist seems to think I’m doing fine but I find it hard to judge.
One of my worries is that it’s like when someone you live with loses weight. Because you see them every day it’s hard to notice their progress in the way that a person who hasn’t seen them in weeks would. Because I’m me every second of the day I may not notice improvements for quite a while. Does that make sense?
I do strongly believe everyone should complete a mental health check in regularly. Pressures can build and stress and depression can sneak up on you so taking some time to sit quietly and think carefully about how you’re doing is a key part of self care.
Enter Jayne And Bohemian Rose Tarot
Just last night my sister Jayne invited me over to watch some of the latest season of RPDR All Stars cos we’re very behind. She also told me she wanted me to see a cool new spread she found. The spread used three decks (yikes!) and came courtesy of Bohemian Rose Tarot which is a channel I’d seen but never watched before.
In brief, the spread uses three rows of 5 cards, one from each deck. She tries to find three decks that have a similar theme, one a little darker, one neutral and one lighter. The dark went at the bottom and reflected the parts relating to the question that are in shadow. The neutral is the main message and the lighter is the more hopeful, in the open part. I’m going to link the video below as the creator can explain it far better than I can.
They say a picture speaks a thousand words so if you don’t have time to watch, here’s a quick visual of the spread.
The Decks
I found this tricky as I don’t know if I have any thematically linked decks. I stared as my deck list for a long time and then decided to go with fun. As a massive fan girl of both Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Supernatural I have the tarot decks based on the shows. Supernatural will be my darker row and Buffy my neutral. I ummed and ah-ed a bit for the final deck before choosing the Witchling academy deck which is cute and magically themed so that seemed to work.
My Mental Health Check In Spread
Neutral – Buffy
Past – The Devil Reversed. I took the easy way out far too often, comfort eating or buying the latest shiny thing as a way of burying my pain. Of course the relief was fleeting and in the long run it made both my health and my finances worse. This added mores stress and worry, so I ate and I bought things and everything go worse and they cycles continued.
Present – Page of Chalices. I am now looking at ways to heal and tap into more happy and positive feelings which is beginning to have a positive effect. This lets me tap into the childlike part of me who still remembers how to have fun.
Me – Justice. I am seeking the truth that will allow me to bring balance to my life. I am also fully exploring how all actions have consequences and what they might be for me based on my past.
Present – Page of Pentacles. Another page! A definite young person energy in this part of the spread. This page is all about building skills and trying new things. I am learning a lot about psychology through reading and YouTube videos and trying to figure out how I can continue to help myself outside of therapy.
Future – The Empress. As I move forward I am learning that my loving energy is a good thing but not when I prioritise others to the point of jeopardising my mental and physical health. I continue to be the Empress as I am naturally loving and caregiving but I will ensure i apply it to me first and then everyone else.
Shadow – Supernatural
Past – Ace of Blades. I’ve always been intelligent and felt my thoughts could cut to the heart of any problem. The problem was a) they couldn’t and b) there were places my mind couldn’t penetrate. Getting clear on the problem is great but it’s only halfway there.
Present – Knight of Bones. I am trying to go full steam ahead with my healing. I am fierce and I am determined. I will do what it takes however hard it is to keep moving forward.
Me – 5 of Goblets. Despair, grief and loss. Lovely! The sad fact is that do I have a lot of pain that I’ve shoved to the back of my mind and haven’t dealt with. I admit this is a big struggle for me as I feel very cut off from my emotions.
Present – The Hierophant Reversed. I see this as my still struggling with a lack of the structure that The Hierophant represents in its upright position. I don’t have any rules telling me how to heal and because I am very fond of having a plan this freaks me out more than a little.
Future – Seven of Goblets. I have never been able to articulate what I want from life or what I think would make me happy. The seven of goblets is the card of choice and maybe I will be more confident in my choices going forward.
Light – The Witchling Academy Tarot
Past – Temperance. In the past I strived desperately for balance but everything always felt out of whack. I could never quite get on an even keel. However now I realise balance and moderation are good goals but difficult if you have a swirling maelstrom of issues trapped within me.
Present – Fool. My lack of focus has meant my leaping about from task to task and not competing anything. It’s time to start my mental health journey from the right place – the beginning! I’ve done this by starting therapy and starting to learn a lot more before trying to take action.
Me – The Empress. A second appearance for this card. Again I feel a lot of despair under the surface (5 of goblets), I tried to work through the consequences in Justice and I am becoming ready to be loving, giving and creative.
Present – Nine of Cups Reversed. I’ve worked hard and I’m proud of myself but naysayers may choose not to see the progress I’ve made, or I may even struggle to see it myself! I know I am making progress though and I need to celebrate and enjoy it.
Future – Queen of Pentacles. I see a lot of myself in this card so I’m happy it emerged. I take this as me slowly becoming who i am truly meant to be. Like the Empress I am loving, nurturing and quite motherly for someone who has no children! I will continue to have a stable and loving home life and hopefully stable finances too!
Just One More!
In her video, the creator pulled an oracle card to round off the reading. I love my Believe In Your Own Magic Oracle so I chose that. I drew Lighthouse. Don’t Doubt Your Worth. I do believe many of my issues stem from a lack of self worth, so underpinning my healing with the idea that I am worthy is great advice.
How Are You?
I’m feeling quite reassured following my check in as it hints that i am on the right path and making progress even if I struggle to see it. This is a reminder to do your own mental health check in to ensure you can head off any minor issues before they become major wands. Take care xx
