Making Changes With Depression? I Barely Have The Energy To Exist!
Making changes to your habits, even when they’re necessary, is not an easy task. Most habits are nicely bedded in, and digging them out is an uphill struggle. Making changes with depression, though, is on a different level.
It might sound overly dramatic, but when I have a bad period of depression, I barely have the energy to keep breathing. Once I almost dissolved into tears when I realised I’d left my shoes upstairs and would have to go back up for them. It may sound ridiculous, but if you’ve never suffered from depression, you can’t understand how debilitating it can be. Tiny actions or changes can seem as exhausting and impossible as climbing Everest.
My Changes
That’s not to say it’s impossible, though. In the past, I had a major episode of depression. It lasted more than two months, and I did very little for most of that time. I slept 15 plus hours a day, ate junk food and pretty much wallowed in my misery.
Eventually, I decided enough was enough. I wasn’t going to get better unless I took steps and made changes. I don’t mean major changes. My first change was to get dressed by 10 am every day. Sounds crazy, right? It should be the easiest task in the world, but it wasn’t. Most days, I didn’t get dressed till the afternoon and some days, I stayed in my pyjamas all day.
Here’s what I did. Hopefully, if you’re struggling, it will help you too. That said, we’re not clones, and what works for me may not work for you. Use this article as a blueprint to make changes with depression and modify it as needed to fit your life.
1) Get A Buddy
I found having someone who would check how I was progressing with my plans helped keep me on track. I knew I’d feel even more useless if they asked if I’d completed my task, and I said no.
If you have a friend or loved one who is happy to do this for you, I think it really helps. It also reinforced that I had someone who cared enough about me to check 🙂
If you don’t like this idea, then why not set a reminder on your phone each day? Give yourself until a certain time to complete your task and set the reminder for an hour before. Then, if you haven’t done it you still have time.
2) Start Small
I don’t mean kinda small or smallish, I mean ridiculously small! If you’re anything like me, you will have no motivation or energy, so setting anything other than a minuscule task is setting you up to fail. I touched on this above when I explained one task was just to get dressed in the morning.
There are two elements to making changes with depression that last. Firstly, make the change so smaller it’s almost easier to do it than not. Being dressed meant I could step outside for air, be decent if the postman knocked and generally feel less gross
Secondly, I imagined how I’d feel when my buddy checked in on me if I hadn’t done it. To have to tell them I hadn’t even managed to get dressed by 10 am. These two things meant I completed my task every day, even when I didn’t want to.
3) Do Not Try To Change Anything Else For At Least A Month
If you’ve completed your task every day for a couple of weeks, you’re probably feeling pretty good. And you should! Making changes with depression for even a couple of weeks is a big achievement. Do not let it go to your head!
You’re making excellent progress but believe me, you’re still a long way from making your chosen change a permanent part of your life. Adding in another change now, even a teeny one, will likely have the same effect as choosing too big a task to begin with. It will be too much and may derail you.
Please keep to your small change for an absolute minimum of 4 weeks, ideally six to eight weeks. By that point, it should be a part of your routine, and you can consider adding a new change. If you do and you feel your first change slipping away, then don’t worry. Instead, dump the new task for a few more weeks, then try again.
4) Be Kind To Yourself
Depression is hell. It truly is. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t have been so hard for me to get dressed, would it? You might find you have a day or even a few days when you struggle. This is normal. If you find you’re not managing at all, then leave making changes until you feel a little better.
If you miss one or two days, give yourself a break. Making changes in your life is hard at the best of times. Making changes with depression can seem almost impossible at times. If you feel up to it, start the process again. There’ll be many false starts, but I have faith that you’ll get there in the end.
Whatever happens, be kind to yourself, ask for help if needed, and take it slow. You got this!
