5 New Reasons I Don’t Give A Shit It’s Almost Christmas
Hi Musers. I don’t want you to think that I’m a Scrooge who hates Christmas; nothing is further from the truth. Normally I get start getting excited in November and can’t wait to put up the tree, tuck into mince pies and watch Christmas movies. Not this year, though. I am completely disillusioned and exhausted this year, just waiting for it to be over.
1) My Depression
It’s been a rough year for me where my mental health is concerned. My antidepressants stopped working, so I changed to another. They stopped me from sleeping, so I came off medication altogether. I suffered from antidepressant withdrawal and experienced a month from hell.
I’ve finally found a medication that is working, but I’m still far from back to normal. In addition to my low mood, I feel exhausted, and Christmas seems like so much effort, even for fun things.
2) Trolls
I recently wrote about trolls who’ve posted comments on my pieces on body liberation. It’s more than that, though. I try to cast a wide net on the stories I read on Medium, and I am genuinely upset by the venom and nastiness I read on pieces on fatphobia, racism, homophobia, feminism, etc.
I suppose on social media, I expect it a little more. There are many idiots on there saying things purely to upset people and get a rise from them. On Medium, though, they’re paying for access. So I guess I expected a higher level of behaviour there? In particular, the responses to Kay Valley’s work bothered me. They didn’t even try to argue their opinions logically; they went straight to attack.
While I have always intensely disliked former prime minister Margaret Thatcher, there is one quote of hers I like:
“I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.”
Margaret Thatcher
I don’t have her fortitude or resilience, but her point is excellent. Unfortunately, these people appear to have no knowledge to share, or rational arguments to make; they just hate. I know I need thicker skin, and hopefully, when my depression improves, it will be easier.
3) Covid-19
Most people seem to agree that the second year of Covid is more difficult, more draining. Yes, there were more restrictions in the first year, but there was a “spirit of the blitz” atmosphere – in the UK anyway. We clapped for the NHS, stayed home when ordered, looked after elderly relatives and neighbours and basically tried to be responsible humans.
Now, we’re two years in. 5.3 million people have died worldwide, and many more are suffering from the effects of long covid. Hundreds of thousands of jobs have been lost, and businesses that have been trading for decades have gone to the wall.
Many countries, including the UK, have witnessed spectacularly incompetent handling of the pandemic by their governments. Our MPs have been shown to be flagrantly breaching the rules repeatedly while urging us to follow them. In the recent debacle, they’d even been seen laughing about a party they had last Christmas!
This Christmas, Omicron has arrived. We need to question the wisdom of every gathering. Do we cancel? Should we all take a test and risk it? Is anyone too high risk to include, and would Zoom work? And so on. It’s not easy to get into a festive mood. I know this is hardly a huge concern in all this carnage, but it’s just another reason I’m not feeling Christmas right now.
4) Loss
I lost my Dad a few years ago due to cirrhosis. While we weren’t massively close until the last few years of his life, I miss him more than I would. He didn’t die at Christmas, but I miss him more at this time of year.
We all know Christmas is a time when we make obligatory visits and host events we’d rather not. It’s no big deal; it’s just part of Christmas. One of the things I really DID look forward to was a gathering my Dad and stepmother always had on Boxing Day.
They invited a small group of friends too, and the drink was flowing, there were delicious nibbles and always lots of laughs. I really miss that, and even when we do all get together, it just makes Dad’s absence more noticeable.
5) I Still Don’t Know What Smithy’s Answer Was!!
Ok, this is a slightly more light-hearted one to round off. For those of you unfamiliar with it, there was a truly excellent British comedy called Gavin and Stacey, which ran for three seasons from 2007-2010. In 2019, to the delight of its fans, myself included, they made a new Christmas special.
If you haven’t watched it, I won’t spoil it, and I strongly suggest you go get a copy and watch it asap, you can thank me later! However, the point is that this special ended on a cliffhanger, and we have no idea if there’ll be another special to let us know the result. This is torture! Come on the BBC, Ruth Jones and James Corden; we need to know!
I Don’t Give A Shit It’s Almost Christmas – And That Ok
Am I sad that I’m not feeling all Christmassy? Yes, of course! Am I going to beat myself up over it? No. As I mentioned in tips to stay sane, Christmas has blown up out of all recognition these last few years, and people put so much pressure on themselves!
Christmas can be whatever you want it to be. Please go easy on yourself and remember, kids get excited about time off school, limitless chocolate and the excitement of Christmas morning. You do not need to kill yourself with elf on the shelf, festive baking and picture-perfect outings. They’ll be happy just to be with you.
If you don’t have kids, even easier. Do what makes you happier and give yourself a break. This year we’ve all earned it.
